Thursday, August 19, 2004 A Public Service Announcement This is more a rough outline for something that I should write in full at some point. But this isn't some point, this is now, and this is what I have to say. I've been putting a record of my life online for four years now. I think. Something like that. Right now I'm probably getting the most traffic I've ever gotten, with an approximate average of 80 hits a day (most of which consist of people interested in finding out whether or not Jonathan Brandis was gay, but I digress). Over the course of those four years, I have occasionally pissed off people, hurt people's feelings, and found that the barriers between my personal life (my "real" life as it were) and my online life were much thinner than I could possibly imagine. I'm not saying I'm an expert on this subject or anything. But I do know a bit of something about blogging; the way it can impact how you interact with the world -- and the way the world interacts back. If you blog with focus -- making your site specific to movies, politics, sports, etcetera -- then little of this applies to you. But most everyone ends up writing about themselves at some point, especially bloggers. Because blogging is more than a little narcissisic. So: Some things to keep in mind as you blog People are going to read what you write. Repeat that one to yourself. People are going to read what you write. This is, ostensibly, why you are blogging. If you were only interested in writing down the details of your daily life, well, you wouldn't need to post those details on the internet, would you? You have little to no control over who actually does read your blog. If you're a LiveJournal user, of course, you have many levels of security at your disposal, but a lot of people are just squatting in cyberspace, hanging out their shingles and letting it all out. Unless you refuse to be listed on search engines and keep the URL secret and use an alias and an easily disguised email address and personally inform only those individuals you wish to read your blog, then your blog can be found, and you need to read the next part carefully. if you're writing a blog, and if you're serious about keeping certain people in your life from reading your blog, it's your responsibility to determine who sees it. It's a kick, of course, to get an email from a girl in rural Arkansas who marvels at a thing as mundane as hiking down Sunset Boulevard. But it's another kind of kick to receive a package, mailed to your apartment, from a man you cut out of your life four years previously. Google is a real thing and people are very good at using it. Be careful with personal details. Be careful with the personal details of other people, as well. The one major faux pas I've committed over the course of blogging involved betraying a friend's confidence by relating something said regarding someone else -- a someone else I wasn't aware read my blog. I have regretted this mistake, however small it was, for years. Because while I might have made the choice to sacrifice some small amount of privacy to the online gods, my friend hadn't had that option. Plus, I forgot... Assume everyone is reading your blog. Everyone. The Secret Service. Your best friend. Your roommates. That guy you made out with at that party that one time. That girl you stood up. Your grandfather. Your mom. Blogging has, among other things, reinvented high school slam books on a grand scale, and it's tempting to use the medium to bitch surrepticiously about your lame-ass friends and your mean boss and your clueless parents (note to Liz's friends, boss, and parents: you are not any of those things). But here's my rule of thumb -- say nothing about nobody that you wouldn't say to their faces. And when you feel the need to talk about somebody, bring it up with them personally as well -- call, meet at a cafe, email or IM them. COMMUNICATE. Because it absolutely sucks to stumble across a friend's previously unknown blog and read what they really think about you (and remember -- people are naturally curious, and they will click on links in profiles or remember a URL you mentioned at a party or test an odd email domain name). And, speaking of communication... Assume no one is reading your blog. There are a number of old friends, from years and years ago, who I keep up with exclusively via blogging. Thus, I am up to date on all the big life events, able to speak with ease regarding their lives, and all without sending an email (a task which I am sadly very poor at maintaining). But the thing about blogging is that it's ultimately a passive activity. You produce words, sure, and send it out into the great unknown for all to read. You'll drop a comment here and there, link to something particularly witty they said... But it's nothing compared to a long phone call on a sunny afternoon, a quick exchange of words via IM. Blogging shouldn't be a substitute for parts of your life. Blogging should just be a record of it. There's more to say, I'm sure. And you may disagree to some extent. But this is an approximation of my own personal philosophy. And you must care about that to some extent. After all, why else would you be here? Okay, look, I got no clue where the dearly departed Jonathan Brandis found his pleasures. But that Neil Patrick Harris fella? That guy likes boys quite a bit indeed. | permalink blog • archives • photos • about • contact This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License. All content © 2004.